


Why

by The_Lady_smaell



Series: Slice of Shinobi Life [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Author projecting onto the boys., Feels, Hatake Kakashi Is Trying, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Iruka cares too damn much, Iruka is having a bad day, Kakashi tries to be a good boyfriend, M/M, Terminal Illnesses, The Author Regrets Everything, unbeta'd we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:07:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22670725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Lady_smaell/pseuds/The_Lady_smaell
Summary: Kakashi meets Iruka in the hospital and attempts to help. Iruka just hates how cruel the world is sometimes.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: Slice of Shinobi Life [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1579129
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Why

**Author's Note:**

> Uhm... See end.

Why 

The day had been a miserable one, the winter weather being particularly harsh and bitter. Kakashi pulled his cloak tighter around him as the wind whipped around him. He was grateful as unwelcome but familiar walls came into view beneath the haze of torrential rain.

_'Well at least the weather matches my mood.'_ He thought darkly as he walked through the main entrance of the hospital.

Kakashi had admittedly not been best pleased to have been told that his lover was at the hospital, he'd been relieved when he'd discovered that Iruka wasn't hurt but the reality of why the Chūnin was there made something in Kakashi's soul twist.

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't _fair_.

He nodded to the Chūnin on the desk and she nodded back, clearly knowing why the Jounin was here.

"Room 12B Kakashi-san."

"Arigato Kasumi-san." 

It was an automatic, mechanical response but the sentiment was genuine. Kakashi made his way to the stairwell and climbed the stairs to the second floor at an unhurried pace, more out of uncertainty than reluctance. He finally reached the 'B' corridor and could see the defeated figure of his lover sat on one of the benches outside the rooms. The Jounin approached slowly but not stealthily, it wasn't a good idea to startle Iruka at the best of times and especially not on days like today.

He stopped in front of the Chūnin "Hey."

Iruka looked up face blank his warm brown eyes shining with unshed tears, if the dry cheeks were any indication. His lip was trembling and Kakashi could see how hard the Sensei was trying to hold himself together. Kakashi had already known this was going to be rough, sighing he sat down on the empty seat on the bench next to his lover. The two men sat in silence for a long while; Kakashi propped up against the wall and Iruka hunched forward wringing his hands together in anxiety. Normally the Jounin was a fan of silence but this was suffocating.

"Kotetsu said you owe him lunch for a week."

There wasn't a flicker of emotion on the brunette's face and Kakashi felt his heart ache. Iruka cared so much, too much even; especially in regards to his friends and students. Things like this didn't happen often but when they did they really hit the other man hard.

"Your class almost managed to trap him in one of your custom barrier seals, I have no idea where they got it from."

This time there was a faint quirk of Iruka's lips but it disappeared as soon as it had appeared. Kakashi was saved from having to make more attempts at small talk as the door the hospital room and a harried looking Tsunade walked out. The Hokage looked exhausted and solemn.

"I thought I told you to go home _three hours ago_ Iruka-san." She did not sound impressed.

Iruka's face hardened, though his voice was soft. "I said I was staying."

Tsunade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose muttering something about 'stubborn ass teachers' under her breath. She levelled both of them with a stern stare.

"If I give you an update will you please get out of my hair?"

Both men interpreted that as 'This really fucking sucked and I badly need a drink to forget this bullshit' and both could completely empathize with that feeling.

"She's stable, thankfully we caught the Chakra Sickness* early and have been able to administer some curative treatment. I can't make any promises, but she's responded to it so far."

Beside him Kakashi heard Iruka let out a shaky breath and felt some of the tension seep out of him.

"Now get out of here you pair of brats before I end up putting you in here myself." It was an empty threat, both men knew it but it was a small modicum of normality in this otherwise horrible situation.

The Jounin didn't hesitate and wrapped his arms around Iruka, flicking through the hand-signs for teleportation jutsu and disappearing in a plume of smoke.

"Look after him Kakashi." Tsunade muttered sadly before turning on her heel and stalking off in search of alcohol.

* * *

The two men reappeared in Iruka's small apartment, for a solid minute they just stood in silence and held one another before Kakashi started to feel the tremors rippling through the other man.

He held tight, pulling Iruka as close into him as he humanly could trying to give the other man the solace he clearly craved. Another minute ticked by and then the sobs started. They weren't the overdramatic wails one might expect when someone was breaking, no these were quiet and gasping as if some evil entity was stealing the very oxygen from the brunette's lungs. 

It made Kakashi ache in ways he couldn't describe.

Gently he maneuvered both himself and Iruka to the battered but comfortable couch and let the brunette cry himself out.

It was at least an hour later when Iruka had finally regained enough of his composure to speak again.

"She's fucking five years old."

The bitterness and anger in Iruka's voice stabbed at Kakashi's heart.

"What kind of world would allow something like that to happen? To allow an innocent child to be stricken by a disease that is almost incurable!?"

"I don't know." 

Because Kakashi truly, _truly_ didn't.

The Chūnin let out a shuddering sigh and curled into himself.

"I should have noticed something was wrong sooner, Chie-chan had been falling asleep in class more and more recently. I just put it down to living in the group home. I should have put two and two together."

Oh no, _no._ He was not letting Iruka destroy himself with what ifs. With a slightly possessive growl the Jounin nipped the lobe of Iruka's ear, eliciting a yelp from the younger man.

"What the hell…"

"No Iruka, I'm not letting you beat yourself up over 'not spotting it sooner'. You did the best you possibly could in the situation and I'm sure as fuck Chie-chan feels the same." Kakashi's tone was harsh but honest.

"But…" 

"No buts. It was not your fault and you did everything you could."

Iruka clearly didn't believe him but decided to keep his thoughts to himself. Instead he turned in Kakashi's arms and placed a soft kiss on masked lips.

"Thank you." There was nothing but sincerity in the Chūnin's voice.

"Anytime."

The two men just sat together quietly letting the pain, anger and bitterness slowly simmer and release, killing them into a state of emotional exhaustion. On the verge of sleep Iruka murmured with the weariness of men three times his age.

"I fucking hate this world sometimes."

Kakashi placed a soft kiss on the top of the brunette's head.

"Me too love, me too."

~End~

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> *Chakra Sickness is a disease I created in my fic 'Left Behind' and it's meant to be a 'cancer like' disease, I'm trying to be a little more realistic here as it's real world counterpart doesn't have a 100% fatality rate and even I'm not sadistic enough to completely doom a kid.
> 
> Soooo I had a bit of a moment in work today.
> 
> Part of my job involves making appointments for people who have rang the 24 hour hotline my hospital runs as they aren't added automatically.
> 
> Today I saw that one of our patients was 2 years old.
> 
> I work in a cancer specific hospital.
> 
> I literally spent ten minutes staring at my computer screen trying not to cry.
> 
> Some days are fucking hard.


End file.
